Think! Interactive Root Beer

 


 

Manufacturer:
Canned under the authority of Personal Health Development, Inc. Ventura, CA 93003 USA 1-800-643-2057
 
The Pitch:
Think! All Natural Root Beer is a blend of Chinese and American Herbs, vitamins and amino acids especially formulated to enhance your mental performance by increasing concentration, calmness and stamina.
The Ingredients:
Filtered Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Caramel Color, Phosphoric Acid, Natural Flavors, Extracts of (Ginseng, Ginkgo Biloba and Gotu Kola), Choline, Pantothenic Acid and Vitamin B-12

Spike says: According to their web site, the "natural flavors" are wintergreen, anise, vanilla and sasparilla root.

The box:
n/a
 
The web site:
www.thinkproducts.com
 
Spike says:
Medium color, medium-high carbonation, good head initially. This funky brew has a smell like anise and cleaning fluid mixed together. Because it is rather pricey (~$1.40 for an 8.4oz can), I did not try to clean my bathtub with it, though I bet it would do a good job. It looks deceptively mild, just sitting there calmly in my mug. It is not (mild, that is). I burped quite a bit drinking this stuff, which made me think my initial assessment of its carbonation was too low. However, I soon realized that was not the case and in actuality my body was trying to get rid of the stuff. I would never have bought this stuff if it weren't for my quest to review every root beer (stupid web site). I eschew the herb remedy craze - I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy. The can is certainly different. Interactive? Puh-leeze. About the only thing I was going to interact with after drinking this was the sink...and not to wash my hands. The top rim of the can is a title bar from a Macintosh computer, with an assortment of web browser icons and scientific symbols underneath. And they lie on the can as well. The pitch says this concoction is a blend of "vitamins". Well there's only one...B12. 4166% of the RDA!! I hope B12 is passed quickly out of the system. And in case you're wondering...gotu kola is not something computer programmers drink. In India, it is considered to be the most spiritual of all herbs and is used by yogis (no, not the bear) to improve meditation. The point of all this is...I'm stalling. How does it taste? Lousy. Bleh. Yuck. I was hard pressed to finish 8.4oz of the stuff. This stuff makes Journey's crud taste like nectar. It's bitter, it tastes like there is way too much anise in it, it smells like something out of a doctor's office. So as root beer goes, it sucks, it is the anti-Weinhard, it's the worst I've ever tasted. But I realize the targeted group for this product a) isn't looking for the world's greatest root beer, b) is probably used to such foul tasting herbal brews, and c) is buying it for its magical brain-enhancing powers. After all, it's called "Think!" and is formulated to "enhance" my "mental performance". So after drinking it, I thought I'd put it to the test. I've been on a losing streak at Spades on excite.com's web site (they have the definitive on-line card gaming site, if you're into that sort of thing), losing by the slimmest of margins game after game. I figured this stuff should give me the boost I needed to start winning - it would be the proverbial can of whoop-ass I could crack open and apply to opponents. So I logged on to Excite and played one long game (with a bad partner) against a guy and his fiancee (who were both rated quite a bit higher than me). Our team won, amazingly enough. It was so amazing our opponents didn't even type the customary "good game" afterwards...they just left. So did it make me smarter? That's up to you to decide. But consider this...if it made me smarter, why am I still working on the web site? In any case, run away from this stuff. This vile brew gets (no surprise here) an F.

Spike also says:
I like to look at Bevnet's (www.bevnet.com) reviews of the products I review, especially the reviews of products I didn't like. In my opinion, bevnet's sole purpose is to get you to buy product from their sister site (undisclosed, but owned by the same company). When the bevnet hucksters give a crappy product a great review, it just confirms my opinion about them (yes, people can have opinions different from mine. However, with drinks this bad we are dealing with fact, not opinion). Bevnet gave this crud an "A", with this comment: "The flavor of this beverage is great -- the herbal additives give it such a nice bite." It bites alright. Coincidentally (or is it?), you can order Think products online from their sister site. What are the odds? It gets a great review *and* you can buy it right from them!



Questions? Comments? Send them to callmespike@home.com